Is it ever possible for a guy and a girl to be impeccably close friends, without any sexual feelings coming in the way, or other people getting the wrong idea?

Theoretically possible, but in reality, almost impossible.

At least that’s what I think.

Sure, a guy and a girl can always be friends. they can hang out, go for movies, chat, and enjoy each others’ company. They can be pals, sharing secrets and slapping each other on the back. But can they be bosom buddies? Can they sustain the kind of friendship that exists between two best friends of the same sex? Can they ring each other daily, confide and console each other, and still be platonic friends? this is the perennial question that has (and still does) baffled me.

On recollection, i’ve only had 2 male buddies of that sort in my life so far. One was completely gay, so it was easy for us to be close friends. there was no Jealous Girlfriend to speak of, no-one could tease us whatsoever, and there was never any worry that other feelings would taint our friendship. We were such good platonic friends that it was easy to sob on his shoulder during a sappy movie and give each other “stop-my-blood-circulation” hugs whenever we needed one. Communal people-watching, one of my favourite pastimes, was fantastic. We would sit at Long John Silver’s and ogle at guys. We were buddies. Period.

The 2nd buddy was a healthy male who went for girls, not guys. He was funny, understanding, outgoing and loud. We clicked over our shared love for good food. I thought, “hey, it is possible for a guy and a girl to be close pals.” Everything went smoothly for a nearly a year, and our customary greeting was also a “stop-my-blood-circulation” hug. We were buddies. Period.

But i was wrong.

One sweaty Saturday afternoon, as we were busy yakking away over a nasi lemak lunch, he put down his fork abruptly and cleared his throat. “what’s the matter?” i joked. “snorted an ikan bilis?” to my surprise, he put one awkward hand on my arm. And what he said next made me snort an ikan bilis.

He asked me out.

Unlike some other teenage girls who willingly date every Tom, Dick and Harry (and sometimes, even Larry) who comes along, simply to fill their “Honour Roll”, i beg to differ. It’s not something I’m proud of. The moment he uttered those words, i felt like forcing them back into his voice box. We were comfortably driving down an open stretch of road when he suddenly had to veer into an alley.

That Saturday afternoon sent my mind into overdrive, because i knew our friendship would never be the same again. After nearly a year of brotherly-sisterly ties, was this what everything amounted to? Was it all a facade on his part? Why oh why did deeper feelings have to interfere? I was saddened to think that the friendship we had wasn’t really a pure “friendship” after all. When i looked at him, i saw a close pal. When he looked at me, what did he see?

True enough, after that encounter and all that happened, we drifted apart and are now mere acquaintances, albeit awkward ones. A loss of a close friend. It hit me badly.

Perhaps i was a fool not to see the signs, and to believe too wholeheartedly in the possibility of unadulterated buddy-ness between a guy and a girl. Perhaps i should have drawn the line somewhere. But this is what I am. I can be quite a social bimbo.

I’m not completely shutting myself off from such future friendships, but i’m certainly much more cautious now. I’ve learnt that every single gesture, action and remark can be misinterpreted and send wrong signals to the opposite party. All the more if the party is from the opposite sex. Guys can be sincere friends who are less scheming then foxy girls, but we girls can seldom (if never) fully guess what goes on in the mind of guys. What makes them tick? God knows.

As The Cardigans put it, you live and learn. After living for nearly 16 years on this bizarre planet of ours, i finally feel like i’m scratching the surface of the incredibly complex world of Relationships.

Or maybe, i’m still a social bimbo.