Picking Up (and dusting off) My Bible.

and so i’ve been telling myself to read the bible more often, because i’m a christian and being christian doesn’t mean going to church for an hour on sunday, and then throwing God in the safe-deposit box, retrieving him when neccesary.

thus last night i picked up my dusty ol’ bible and spent a few minutes removing the dust and lichen that have taken root. that made me a tad bit guilty, because i’ve been a Part-time Christian and Full-time Lazyarse. i saw Jesus in cheesecake and pasta, my church was my bedroom, and tabloids were my daily scripture.

then a couple of days prior to father’s day, i was digging through a pile of old papers in my room when i stumbled across an envelope. it was written in childish scrawl.

“dear daddy, what are you doing in… london, and why all the months you never come but i still love you very mach! i am big girl now! happy father day, my sweet heat! i miss you so mach! come back please? next time come erly. i am very sad you never come.”

the cold salt tears came. immediately i hated myself for crying, for being such a sentimental dumbass. through my tears i laughed as i noted my poor spelling (sweet heat, indeed). the concept of having a father was becoming very hazy, now. but wait: i always had a father. that was God. but i chose to lock him up and stash him away, forgotten like the old Father’s Day card i wrote to my dad when i was seven.

Back to last night. i flipped to Sirach, a deuterocanonical in the bible. the following verses were pretty memorable.

• don’t try to understand things that are too hard for you, or investigate matters that are beyond your power to know.
• (on friendship) Others will sit at your table as long as things are going well; they will stick to you like your shadow and give orders to your servants, but they will not stand by you in trouble.
• a loyal friend is like a good medicine that keeps you in good health.
• don’t keep company with female musicians; they will trick you.
• friendship is like wine, it gets better as it grows older.
• when a person dies, all he possesses is worms, flies and maggots.
• what are human beings? of what use are we? the good that we do-the evil that we do- what does it all mean? if we lived a hundred years, we have lived an unusually long time, but compared with all eternity, those years are like a drop of water in the ocean, like a single grain of sand. that is why the Lord is so patient with us, why he is so free with his mercy. He looks at us and knows we are doomed to die; that is why he is so willing to forgive us.
• don’t let a bad wife have her way, any more than you would allow water to leak from your cistern.
• nothing in creation is greedier than the eye; that’s why it sheds tears so often.
• when you sit down at a fancy banquet, don’t let your mouth hang open, and don’t say: “look at all the food!”
• people who eat too much get stomach aches and cannot sleep. if you don’t overeat, you can get a good night’s sleep and wake up the next morning feeling fine. but if you do, go off and vomit and you will feel much better.
• as long as you have breath in your body, don’t let anyone lead your life for you.

well said, really. Sirach makes more sense than Oprah.

Tags: Bible, Christianity, Dad, god, Oprah