introducing jenny, the nerd.

when i put on the red nondescript spectacles at the optician’s a week ago, i sighed. I have to wear it full time, thanks to my deteriorating eyesight. looking at myself in the mirror, one word sprang to mind. Nerdddd.

i guess many people treat me as a nerd, because of the class i’m in as well as due to my grades. but i’ve never felt like a nerd, and i’ve never thought myself as one. if i’m a nerd, it makes Fulin beside me a freaking monk. when it comes to playing, i play harder and wilder than your average Sarong Party Girl (SPG). but when it comes to crunch time, when the exams hit, i study. i glue my ass to my chair and make love to my books. yep, minus the condoms and the bed.

as long as i can remember, i’ve always been part of the Back Of The Class Gang That Makes All The Noise, way back from my primary school days. usually i get chucked in the front, thanks to my dimunitive frame, but as the year progresses, i am “transferred”, or dumped, in other words, to the back of the class. teachers trust that i’ll positively influence those around me. i most certainly do. i have a proven track record for constantly churning out the best medicine for tired students: laughter. so the rest of my school year works out this way: i’ll talk cock and bull, laugh, talk cock and bull again, and then suddenly turn silent during Biology or English lessons because A. i’ll usually be unconscious, catching up on lost sleep, or B. i’ll be fantasising about food. and then the bell rings and i get the hell out of there.

so the nights before end of year exams are really, absolutely excruciating. i actually begin learning the years’ syllabus there and then. thus what i am actually doing is condensing a years’ worth of bull in one single night. do a blood test on me and you’ll find an unearthly amount of caffeine in my blood. if possible i’d fix an IV drip so i wouldn’t have to eat. i keep cramming till my eyes start spinning in their sockets and i start seeing strange women in my textbooks doing a tribal dance, and then only do i stop and drop dead. (please don’t try this at home, kids.)

which explains why i completely snap after each exam. i go nuts. and i love going nuts.

but alas, the red spectacles of mine are a daily reminder of my death sentence. i can no longer start studying on the night before the exam. i can no longer switch off during a lesson. i can no longer talk rubbish for 80% of the time in class (now it’s reduced to 30%).

i know i know i know i know. the bloody O’s.

thus, whether i like it or not, i am transforming into a nerd. i really am. my life is now centered around school work. even when i was watching The Happening last week (by the way, please don’t watch it unless you enjoy wasting money in a slow, cold and boring way), i suddenly thought of my mock exam papers, still undone at home. i thought of my bloody homework in the cinema. there and then, i knew i was screwed. this wasn’t normal. i had caught some severe disease.

so here i am, rushing to finish this post, because i have a pile of homework left as clean as a baby’s bottom, which has to be filled with ink and scribbles. and then i have to begin my revision for my prelims next week because my brain is as empty as my wallet on Fridays. and then i have to cut my toenails because i’ve been too busy to cut them for nearly a month now.

i know i know i know i know. the bloody O’s