spotted on a grimy menu:

Dear Tech Support:

A while ago i upgraded GIRLFRIEND 7.0 to WIFE 1.0.1. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected organizational and renovation processing that took up alot of time and valuable resources. In addition, WIFE 1.0.1 installed itself into other programs and now monitors all other system activities, such as as SURFING 10.3, CLUBBING 7.5 and RACQUETBALL 3.6.

I can’t seem to keep WIFE 1.0.1 in the background while attempting to run my other favourite applications. I’m thinking about going back to GIRLFRIEND 7.0 but the uninstall doesn’t work on WIFE 1.0.1.

please help!

Troubled User.

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a reply from tech support:

Dear Troubled User,

this is a very common problem users of WIFE 1.0.1 complain about.

many people upgrade from GIRLFRIEND 7.0 to WIFE 1.0.1 thinking that it is just a utilities and entertainment program. WIFE 1.0.1 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by the manufacturer to run EVERYTHING. it is impossible to delete WIFE 1.0.1 and return to GIRLFRIEND 7.0. it is also impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files once installed.

you cannot go back to GIRLFRIEND 7.0 because WIFE 1.0.1 is not designed to do this. look in your WIFE 1.0.1 manual under WARNINGS: ALIMONY AND COMMUNITY PROPERTY. I recommend that you just keep WIFE 1.0.1 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application YES DEAR 2.7 to alleviate your program problems.

the best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you have to give the apologize command before the system returns to normal anyway.

WIFE 1.0.1 is a great program but it tends to be very high maintenenance. WIFE 1.0.1 does come with several support programs such as CLEAN AND SWEEP 3.0, COOK IT 1.5, and SEX 4.2, however be careful how you use these programs. improper use will cause the system to launch the program NAG NAG 9.5. once this happens the only way to improve the performance of WIFE 1.0.1 is to purchase additional software. i recommend FLOWERS 2.1 and DIAMONDS 5.0.

WARNING!! Do not under any circumstances install SECETARY WITH SHORT SKIRT 3.3. this application is not supported by WIFE 1.0.1 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

best of luck, Tech Support.