You’re needed, so stick around. Saturday, Aug 22 2009

Ever had the feeling that you were just horribly inadequate? That you were neglecting everything and everyone around you?

I did.

I felt like a lousy friend. When I met up with my best friend yesterday after aeons, I realised how much I underestimated the significance of our friendship. I thought that I would be able to get along just fine with my life even though we met up erratically.

But after all the disappointments I’ve faced so far, after putting my faith in people that didn’t put their faith in me, it was such a blessing to see my old girlfriend waiting for me at the bus interchange. As reliable as clockwork. As sincere and real as she always was. It was just like the old times as we shared the grievances we both faced in our new lives. Spending the day with her totally made my day. It also reminded me that when the world ditches you, someone would be there you lift you out of the gutters.

I felt like a lousy daughter too. I was spending less and less time with my mother. And I knew that I was all that she had left. It sort of pained me to see her waiting up for me all alone when I came home late. The moment I stepped into the door till the instant when my head hit the pillow, my mum would bombard me from all sides, asking me about my day, offering me a supermarket full of food to eat, relating the full news bulletin to me, etc. All her small talk just screamed of loneliness.

But after all the empty chairs and distant faces, the fake smiles and manipulation, the using and the discarding, it was such a blessing to return to my pigsty of a home, and see a familiar face waiting for me. Someone who was joined at the hip with me, whether the both of us liked it or not. In a way we were both in the same boat, me with my busy life and she with her quiet life. We both felt alone and clung to each other for reassurance.

What’s the present without the past? As I soon found out, I truly needed these two characters back in my present, and hopefully they’ll stick around for my future too. I’m sorry to have left them out of the script so far. Maybe that’s what was missing from it.

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Welcome to Jennyspeaks, the World’s Most Superficial Blog Tuesday, Aug 18 2009

All this while I believed that Jennyspeaks was a blog that was a little different from the others.

After all, the lack of visuals and the abundance of punishing sentences (such as this one) surely made this bit of cyberspace slightly deeper than the waters of a toilet bowl.

However, a chance peek at the Search Engine Terms at my Blog Stats page shattered my belief.

Apparently, this blog is a fan site for Billie Joe Armstrong, Kurt Cobain and John Frusciante. It is also a comprehensive site for dumb quotes, wise quotes (haha the irony), insults for fat people, hate insults and sayings that make people feel stupid.

And also it tells you about Women Shitting Toilet and Heroin Toilet Seat (yup, this one caught me off-guard).

So this is what two years of long, verbose posts have resulted in: a blog that is a lot more shallow than toilet bowl waters.

And you know what? I really don’t mind.

Search Engine Terms

These are terms people used to find your blog.

Today

Search	Views
carmen muesli bars	2
dumb quotes 2008	5
john frusciante	2
billie joe depression	3
insults for fat people	2
sayings that make people feel stupid	4
john frusciante short hair	3
fat people insults	4
women shitting toilet	2
billie joe armstrong held at gunpoint	3
kurt cobain art	1

Yesterday

Search	Views
kurt cobains face in black and white	4
dumb quotes 2008	5
insults for fat people	1
john frusciante	4
facebook funny insults	3
jennyspaeks.wordpress.com	2
kurt cobain greatest hits	1
heroin toilet seat	1
random wise quote	2
hate insults	5
billie joe armstrong winona ryder	5
quotes that make people feel dumb	7
winona and billie joe armstrong	1

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Funny Insults Part 2: Cultural Wednesday, Aug 5 2009

Part 2 of the Funny Insults series is provided to you, free of charge, by Jennyspeaks. Comes packaged with a pinch of salt.

Question: Who invented the copper wire?

Answer: Two Scotsmen fighting over a penny. – English Joke

Question: How do you disperse an angry Scottish mob?

Answer: Pass around a collection box. – English Joke

German is a language developed solely to afford the speaker an opportunity to spit at strangers under the guise of polite conversation. – National Lampoon

The larger the German body, the smaller the German bathing suit, and the louder the German voice issuing German demands and German orders… to everybody who doesn’t speak German. For this and several other reasons, Germany is known as “the land where Israelites learned their manners”. – P.J Rourke, “Holidays in Hell”

An Israeli man’s life was saved when he was given a Palestinian man’s heart in a heart transplant operation. The man is doing fine, but the bad news is he can’t stop throwing rocks at himself. – Jay Leno

On a clear day you can’t see Luxembourg at all. This is because a tree is in the way. – Alan Coren

What are the first three words in a Mexican cookbook? — “Steal a chicken.”

In Russia, we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One. – Yakov Smirnoff

In the US you have freedom of speech. You can go up to Ronald Reagan and say, “I don’t like Ronald Reagan.” In the Soviet Union, you have the same freedom. You can also go up to Chernenko and say: “I don’t like Ronald Reagan.” – Yakov Smirnoff

America is the only country in the world where a housewife hires a cleaning woman, so she can do volunteer work at the day care centre where the cleaning woman leaves her child. – Milton Berle

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day, the Statue of Liberty had both its hands up. – Jay Leno

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